Case 10 - Mu Chou's Thieving Phony
Mu
Chou asked a monk, “Where
have you just come from?”
The
monk immediately
shouted.
Mu
Chou said, “I've been
shouted at by you once.”
Again
the monk shouted.
Mu
Chou said, “After three
or four shouts, then what?”
The
monk had nothing to say.
Mu
Chou then hit him and
said, “What a thieving phony you are!”
Notes
Muchow
is the disciple and attendant of Huangbo. He was
the one who goaded Linchi to meet with Master Huangbo. He asked Linchi,
“How
long have you been in the monastery?”
Linchi
said, “I’ve been here for three years.”
“And
how often do you meet with master Huangbo,” asked
Muchow.
“I
haven’t met him
even once.”
“What,”
said Muchow, “Why not?
“I’m
afraid to. I hear he’s rough with his students. He shouts
at them and he beats them with his stick.”
“Don’t
worry about that,” said Muchow. “Huangbo is the
Master here and
you’ve got to get to
him. I know, I’m his personal attendant. Without meeting with
Huangbo you’ll
never realize anything. I’ll tell you what, you go to Huangbo
and ask him to
tell you what the great matter is.”
“The
great matter?”
“Yes,
that’s it, ask him about the great matter.”
So
next time Huangbo allowed students to come to him in
what we here call daisan, Linchi went. He entered the room, made his
bows and
asked Huangbo about the great matter and Huangbo hit him with his
stick. So
Linchi returned to Muchow and told him what happened. Linchi was
encouraged
once again to go to Huangbo. He did and again was hit. Muchow
encouraged Linchi
again and again he went to Huangbo and again asked his question and
again was
hit. So Linchi told Muchow that he’s had it and was going to
leave the
monastery and go somewhere where they know how to deal with students.
To finish
the story, eventually Linchi did attain realization and understood why
Huangbo
kept hitting him. And when you, my little kiddies, get to this koan
we’ll see
if you understand why Linchi was always getting hit and we’ll
see if you can
escape the stick.
Muchow
was also the one who had the great future Zen
Master Yunmen as his student. When Yunmen wanted to enter
Muchow’s room, Muchow
wouldn’t let him. Yunmen kept trying, finally jamming his leg
as Muchow slammed
the door. And Muchow’s slam was so forceful that he broke
Yunmen’s leg. And
they say that with that slam Yunmen was enlightened. Enlightened, but
crippled
for the rest of his life.
So
you can see that Muchow was quite severe, had a weird
sense of humor, and quite eccentric. It is said that he could tell the
state of
a student’s mind by the student’s footsteps. Like I
can tell who’s coming
upstairs by their pace. Especially Peter Harris, who leaps up the steps
two and
three at a time. I know because I am jealous of his agility and energy.
Anyhow,
Muchow wasn’t just a boor and a loud nut. When
his mother became ill he left the monastery and returned home to take
care of
her. And he lived with her and supported her by making sandals. He
placed the
sandals he made on top of the city gate to advertise them and hopefully
sell them.
Then
one day there was an invasion of the city. The
invading forces reached the gates of the city. The leader of the forces
saw a
pair of sandals on the city gate and went to get them for himself. But
they
remained firm, stuck like the sword Excalibur. The leader turned to his
troops
frozen with fear. He told them a holy man must be living here and the
soldiers
did not attack and fled the city in fear.
So
let’s get back to our koan.
Mu
Chou asked a monk, “Where
have you just come from?”
The
monk immediately
shouted.
Mu
Chou said, “I've been
shouted at by you once.”
Again
the monk shouted.
Mu
Chou said, “After three
or four shouts, then what?”
The
monk had nothing to say.
Mu
Chou then hit him and
said, “What a thieving phony you are!”
Reflections
I
don’t know about you this koan really speaks to me.
I
remember I was once invited to give daisan at the
monastery of a colleague of mine. Most of his students were working on
either
Mu or the sound of one hand. Each of his students entered the daisan
room. And
one after the other made make a fist or shouted something like Mu at
the top of
their lungs. One student dramatically slapped her hands. Another got up
and
kicked the air. And so forth. I rejected every one of them. Finally,
one
student sad to me, “But the teacher here already passed me on
this koan.” And
so I told him, “Well then I can't pass your
teacher.”
Each
of the students was playing Zen. Doing the Zen
thing. The zen shout. The zen gesture. The zen this and the zen that.
All of it
zen crap! As an
aside it may interested
you to know that I have never again been invited to give daisan at that
monastery.
As
you can see from our koan I think that’s what was
going on. As you may know this was the time when there was a lot of
shouting
and hitting with sticks, as you saw in the story of Huangbo and Linchi.
Linchi
went on to became a very famous zen master and invented the famous zen
shout
which is usually translated or expressed as Kwatz!
But soon,
everybody
was going around Kwatzing here and Kwatzing there. Everybody was trying
to see
who could outKwatz the other. It got to just a point that poor old
Linchi
realized he’d created a Frankenstein’s monster with
his Kwatz. All a student
had to do was shout Kwatz and she thought she got it. That’s
what my
colleague’s students were doing. Thieving phonies all! And
that’s what the monk
is doing in this koan. Nothing but a rotten thieving phony.
Mu
Chou asked a monk, “Where
have you just come from?”
The
monk immediately
shouted.
Mu
Chou said, “I've been
shouted at by you once.”
Again
the monk shouted.
Mu
Chou said, “After three
or four shouts, then what?”
The
monk had nothing to say.
Mu
Chou then hit him and
said, “What a thieving phony you are!”